Fear of Failure: Nature and Use

The fear of failure is all-consuming to me; I sit at the sidelines, palms sweaty and brow furrowed.

‘Everyone will hate me if I don’t do well!’ I think to myself.

My name is called up, and I walk up, all bravado, a husk of false confidence.

My heart thrums and beats its bony cage, excited and fearful. I gulp and have one last sip.

This could go so very wrong; I think to myself as I begin to speak.

The words initially are like a stopped-up pipe- a stumble here, a hesitated point there.

But as the flow of words came more smoothly, my fear abated. A small utterance in my mind:

‘It is going to be okay.’

That thought is what kept me going; as the words flowed, my heartbeat relaxed.

By then, the fear still coursed through me, but I was beginning to master it.

Knowing fear made me certain of what I was fearing, and as the presentation went on, I was able to take stock and measure, and then plan around my fears.

For example, in order for me to not have to say so much, I made the session interactive. A few minutes here and there helped me keep calm and ordered.

As the things progressed, fear gave way to knowledge and certainty.

Anxiety, however, still remained; its baseless, cruel and accusatory gaze withered my confidence.

However, under the strength of my newfound confidence, it could not hold sway.

Had I given into the fear, it would surely have turned into anxiety. Anxiety had, in effect, attempted to make me punish me before the event itself.

The event going well and my fears unfounded, also wrought my expectations about rewards and punishments.

That my fear and anxiety- both well-founded and unfounded- made me realise that rewards, for example even just a glass of water- should not be missed out on or just straight up taken away, just because something fails, or if the fears are true. Fear makes one uncertain and difficult to comprehend- rewards aren’t tied to fears.

Needlessly and pre-emptively stripping oneself of rewards for a ‘maybe’ is needlessly cruel to one self.

While I have elucidated the advantages of, in a way, embracing the fear of failure, there are other scenarios that must be taken under consideration.

1. Self-imposed perfectionism THRIVES on fear; it is the embodiment of ‘not good enough’. Perfectionism, by its very definition, is the striving of, well, the perfect thing. It is, therefore, impossible, as everything can be done better in one way or another. Furthermore, perfectionism’s weakness is embracing imperfection and the attached fear. Nothing will be good, especiallu the first time around, so fear is useless.

• It is far better, therefore, to have a plan and stick to it.

2. High pressure environments leave no time, space, or resources to stew in fear. Fear in those environments causes us to shut down, imbibe with inaction and mental torture of the unknown.

• In these environments, embracing fear also means making plans to counter the fear. A step by step plan is better than no plan, and a comprehensive plan is even better.
• Following said plan is not a guarantee of success, but increases the chances of success and survivability, and decreases chance of accidents, mistakes and hesitation.

All in all, fear and the embracing of it is, while useful, still only a precursor for planning and action. Staying in fear means staying frozen in time, but taking one step is better than no step at all. The gift of fear can be used to great effect, but must be used conservatively. It is inevitable too, so get comfortable and start planning and taking action with courage.